State Of Mind
Confidence. That has been one of the most significant topics in today's society. Especially now more than ever with social media and influence. So many young people lack it, and I hate that it is a thing. Gaining confidence is complex and a long journey or process to go through. You don't just wake up and have this giant self-esteem; getting that authentic feeling takes time, patience, and ups and downs. For me to stop comparing myself to others, I don't look at social media that much. I don't scroll for hours and hours, and I limit my screen time. It is just for personal preferences and knowing how damaging social media could be. It was for me, and doing this has benefited my mental well-being ultimately. It took me years to acknowledge that I don't care what people think about me.
It took literal years of feeling horrible about myself and comparing myself to other people to feel the way that I do about myself now. And I often think about the preteen me from middle school who, like many other young girls, was struggling with their self-esteem and feeling beautiful and popular or in the mix and having the best clothes and the best hairstyle, stealing my My sister's make up to use and putting it back before she sees it was gone. YouTube influenced me in that way. I grew up watching YouTube and always seeing what other girls wore or how they wore it. I wanted every new pair of shoes, so I started focusing on my appearance and much more. But I also love that side of me, and I cherish that young girl in me because if you don't go through something, then you don't grow through it. It would help if you felt this emotion and frustration in the beginning so that you can blossom at the end. Eventually, that lack of self-esteem dies down. It may not always completely go away.
Still, it's not so prominent and more controlled now, especially learning that you are indeed one of one and can say it, but you must believe it. No one can love you if you don't love yourself, the good and the bad parts. It took a lot to get to that point, but after everything I've been through, I now never care about what anyone thinks of me or what another person looks like because I know me. I love myself, and I know what I bring and who I am is challenging. I take comfort in knowing that no one will ever find another me. You can try everything you want to and go wherever you want to go looking to replace me. Still, they'll never be half of what I am, and that's the most satisfying feeling. I enjoy being delighted and content with myself and know I am exemplary enough for anyone. I can do anything. Even on my worst days, I'm still a baddie, and beauty isn't all about the physical aspect. It's your internal self, who you are, when you're not posting your photos on social media or wearing makeup. For me, it's about loving who I am as a person, knowing how good of a heart I have, and doing everything with the intention of love, grace, and empathy. That is the best beauty you could ever have to me.
